The following is part of a series exploring quotations attributed to C.S. Lewis that are questionable for one reason or another. My book (THE MISQUOTABLE C.S. LEWIS, just released from the publisher and Google Books has a preview of it) collects material presented so far and will contain expressions not yet posted here (plus existing online material is updated in the book). That book contains 75 quotations, so there are many quotes not yet posted. With so much material left, I hope to post a new quote each week.
There is an “at a glance” page to quickly see what has been posted so far in this series, which also includes a list of the other quotes I’ve identified as questionable. Also, if you haven’t already, consider reading the INTRODUCTION to this series to gain an understanding of the three main categories.
“If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.”
Several online sites include this quotation and a few even give a reference to the title Shadowlands. Trouble is, while Lewis did use that expression, it was never the title of any of his books. However, it was the title of two movies about his life! In 1993 the Hollywood version of Shadowlands was released. Years before this, the BBC did a TV movie that is now known by the same title, but it was originally called C.S. Lewis Through the Shadowlands.
Even though I knew both movies well, I checked each of them to learn those words are not said by any character. Someone put the script of the Hollywood version online and so anyone can confirm the statement is not there. For the earlier version I watched it again, with the subtitles on and while you don’t find the words there either, the sentiment appears to be expressed there.
Just after the eighty-seven-minute mark in the movie, the fictional Lewis is speaking with the fictional stepson, and he is commenting about how much he loved his wife who had just died. He says, “I loved your mother very much.” Then a few seconds later he recalls that his wife asked, “is it worth it?” Then he states, “She knew how it would be later.” This infers that when a loved one dies, then the other left behind will experience a lot of pain, or as this quote in question states, will “get hurt badly.” The very next line in the movie confirms this, as the actor states, “Doesn’t seem fair, does it? If you want the love you have to have the pain.”
I also checked to see if maybe someone could have confused things and found the quotation in A Grief Observed, a book that details the intense pain Lewis went through after the death of his wife. Even though the exact words were not discovered, I also check individually for “deeply” and learned it was not used at all by Lewis in the book. However, when searching for “hurt,” I did discover an interesting passage. In the third chapter of Grief, Lewis made a comment about bereavement actually being part of a phase in marriage. Then he stated, “If it hurts (and it certainly will) we accept the pains as a necessary part of this phase.”
The next article to be posted on 4/7/18:
“No great wisdom can be reached without sacrifice.”
Related Articles:
Exploring C.S. Lewis Misquotes and Misconceptions (6-part podcast series)
What Lewis NEVER Wrote (Podcast)
Not Quite Lewis – Podcast Version
Not Quite Lewis – Questionable Lewisian Quotations (Conf. Paper)
